The Escalation of Events

So yesterday I stumbled upon this article in which a respiratory therapist describes in detail what the worst of COVID-19 looks like in the hospital. These disturbing descriptions were all new to me, which is worrisome given how far into this pandemic the world already is. The details of the disease shouldn't still be unknown or downplayed at this point.

I began to reflect on my experience learning about this disease and how long it took for me to take it seriously versus how quickly everything seemed to go wrong.

I was away on business in Boston for PAX East (a big video game convention) from February 25th through March 2nd. There was talk of the "novel coronavirus" at the time but I didn't know much about it. While I worked my booth and walked the convention floor I couldn't help but notice the (relatively small but nonetheless) increased number of attendees wearing face masks at the event. I just kind of shrugged it off, thinking it was good that people were finally taking action against a new infectious threat, but also that it was probably unnecessary. I avoided touching anything and used a lot of hand sanitizer, but mostly just to keep myself from getting a cold or flu when I returned home.

My partner and our toddler got sick with a flu the day before I flew back home to Milwaukee. They recovered just in time for me to get sick with something I must have caught in Boston despite my precautions. I was supposed to have a belated birthday dinner with my family that Saturday the 7th, but I pushed it to the 14th so I could recover and protect them from getting sick.

Everything happened fast after that.

Wednesday March 11th— Things escalated to the point that the virus really got my attention. I heard that people were hoarding toilet paper. That was weird. At work we were told to try working from home that Friday and report how it went to our manager on Monday. We were also getting assigned to write more articles related to the coronavirus (I write resources for insurance brokers).

Thursday March 12th— My first ever big 5k race (The Milwaukee Marathon) was cancelled and turned into a virtual race despite it taking place a whole month away. I was really upset about it but still didn't quite grasp the rationale behind the decision. I figured organizations were shutting down just to avoid the bad press associated with being where the virus would spread.

Friday March 13th— I ran an errand on Friday morning to get a single pack of toilet paper since our supply was low. There were at least three other people in the store hurriedly walking toward the registers with nothing but TP.

Even though I was researching the virus to write about it for work, it didn't seem like a huge deal despite being literally named SARS 2 (in layman terms). My understanding was still that only the elderly and those with pre-existing respiratory problems were in any real danger, and that places were being extra cautious just to be on the safe side and protect those at highest risk. Things were still mostly business as usual.

Saturday March 14— There was news of bare grocery store shelves and all sorts of businesses shutting down. Our toddler's last swim class was cancelled. The zoo was cancelling events but staying open. My family came over for my belated birthday dinner and we had everyone sanitize their hands upon entry solely because we didn't want to get sick again so soon, but not necessarily because of the novel coronavirus.

Sunday March 15— More closures and cancellations. My partner and I became pretty sure we'd be working remotely soon.

Monday March 16—My employer announced that everyone who could work remotely should do so. My partner went to the grocery store for some essentials and called me afterwards in the middle of a panic attack from witnessing all of the empty shelves. I reassured her that it would all bounce back soon, but I was getting worried too. We both start working from home the following day for at least the next two weeks.

The rest of the week was a blur. Work seemed to be going well since we're both providing goods and services to the insurance industry. Our routine hadn't changed much at all since we've got a toddler with a strict schedule, which helps keep us occupied. We kept hearing increasingly alarming reports of how the virus was spreading and killing in Italy, how the U.S. isn't far behind, and how pathetically little our government is doing to help the situation. The zoo fully closed and my employer extended the planned remote work into mid-April. At some point I took this photo of just how eerily empty and quiet a normally lively street I frequent is:

On March 20th I found an article about how people with depression, anxiety, and OCD are living in a personal nightmare while also having their behaviors and beliefs validated right now. People in the comments section on Reddit who live with these conditions talked about how they stocked up on supplies in January and everyone laughed at them. It's then that I started to wonder if my optimistic attitude blinded me to the truth and possibly put my family at a greater risk. It's then that the fear finally really set in and I started taking things seriously.

The virus first came to my country on January 20th and it took me two months to take it seriously despite so many signs telling me to do so. I'm not alone, of course. Some whole cities, states, and even countries are still going about business as usual, unaware of the harm that could and probably will cause them.

Anyway, all of this is to say that despite how easy it may be to get mad at yourself for catching on late, you can't blame yourself. This is an unprecedented event that very few people are ready for. You're not alone. All you can do is stay informed and try to pass your knowledge on to others.

When did you finally take notice of the pandemic? Share your story in the comments below.

Stay healthy and sane.

-Ryan