Ryan's COVID-19 Chronicles

A lot has happened since I last posted here. Multiple holidays have come and gone, my parents had a COVID-19 scare that fortunately turned out alright, and most fortunately I've got a job again! Unemployment hasn't been fun. Not that it ever is, but combined with the following factors: The pandemic The lack of unemployment compensation due to the pandemic The lack of stimulus checks because America The transition into the "everything is dying and it's cold as heck" season I was getting especially stressed out to the point that I was starting to not feel like myself anymore. Even the small things I would normally do to improve my mental health were constantly out of reach. I would talk to friends and find it difficult to focus on what they were saying. I would have a drink in the middle of the day. I would tell everyone I was alright and most of the time I believed it. I knew I was getting worn down. I knew I was floating toward some form of depression. I started b...

Sorry I haven't written here in a while. So much was happening in those first few months of the pandemic, and then it seemed like everything just kind of slowed to a crawl before it all went stale. Every day has been the same thing. People don't believe facts. People are getting sick. The pandemic isn't over yet. We need to stay home. We need a sense of normalcy. The numbers are down. The numbers are up. On and on and on in a never-ending loop. Like many people, I fell into a sort of numb depression without even realizing it. The pandemic and quarantine weren't great for my mental health, and I stagnated. I kept on going through the motions, but it was all in a sort of half-conscious way. Fortunately, a few months ago I became aware of this and made some changes to improve my mental health and overall lifestyle. It seemed like everything was going to be alright again. Then, after an incredibly stressful two months at work during which I worked and pushed myself harder t...

As I said in my previous blog post, I'm not sure there's really anything significantly new to say about this pandemic since it's been going on far longer than it should have. That said, I still want to keep this blog updated on a somewhat regular basis for future historical reference. In the absence of any new insights to share, I'm going to share and comment on some recent news. July 14: CDC says U.S. could get coronavirus under control in one to two months if everyone wears a mask This is pretty much the thing I've been preaching from the beginning because I respect the advice of educated experts. Still, it's nice to have the CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION (spelled out, capitalized, and bold in case you forgot that this pandemic is literally what the CDC was designed to help us with) slap the nation across the face with how badly we're messing up and how quickly we could be done with quarantining if everyone just wore their damn masks. July 15...

I find myself struggling to think of what to write about in this blog anymore, even only once per week, that I haven't already said. This pandemic has just been going on for way too long. Nothing's really changing. Stupid people are denying the virus' existence, how to stop it, and refusing to follow rules that would get us out of this mess. My family is trying to stay safe while keeping sane. I miss the way things were before. I'm grateful for my daughter's ignorance. I'm devastated for everything we can't let her experience during this crucial part of her life. Many countries are beating or close to beating the virus while the USA lets it spread and destroy. President Trump has spent more energy attacking the CDC and Director of NIAID in a week than he has spent attacking the virus and protecting people from it for the last five months. Nothing's really changing. How many thousands more need to die or be impaired for life from this virus? I just want t...

Well I think it's pretty obvious by now that we (at least in the United States) are going to have to deal with this COVID-19 pandemic for quite a lot longer than we originally hoped or expected to. Despite the fact that we could pretty easily squash this disease while simultaneously saving the economy $1 trillion simply by wearing face masks and practicing social distancing, lots of people just don't want to wear masks, social distance, or believe simple facts from experts. Just a friendly reminder that President Trump is one of those people. He also suggested injecting people with disinfectant to cure COVID-19. Moving on. All that said, I've recently realized that it might be time to stop thinking about the present conditions as a temporary thing and start thinking of them more like the "new normal." Just a few days ago I thought of the "new normal" as being the time after the worst of the pandemic had passed, or even perhaps as being whenever it was o...

Intellectually, I know that the only correct answer to the question of "is it alright to hang out with someone outside of my household during a global pandemic?" is "nope, just stay home to keep yourself and others safe." Emotionally, however, there's really no right answer to that question. My brother had a birthday recently and my parents naturally wanted to throw a little family party. While my partner and I have occasionally interacted with my parents recently and then even interacted with my brother for Father's Day after debating the decision for quite a while, this party would reintroduce two more people into our social circle; my grandmother and one of my uncles. It can be a slippery slope to let people back into your physical vicinity these days. It's so easy to think "well my grandmother is already interacting with my parents, and I already interact with my parents, so what's the difference if I interact with my grandmother now?" ...

Despite the pandemic, I had a wonderful Father's Day weekend. On Saturday I took my daughter for a long morning walk and then grilled burgers for my family in the afternoon. Despite the forecast predicting thunderstorms all afternoon, the weather seemed to work around our plans by only raining for a bit after the morning walk, while we ate dinner under the protection of our outdoor umbrella, and while we spent some time inside the house to digest before going back outside for s'mores over our new fire pit. On Sunday my partner surprised me with my favorite breakfast (eggs benedict), a few gifts, and the fact that she'd reserved us a time to visit the zoo in the afternoon. As everyone who reads this blog is aware, the Milwaukee County Zoo was perhaps the thing I missed the most about the pandemic shutdown and I was really, really excited to hear that it would be opening up with new safety precautions . Not only was it a fun place to spend an hour or two last year, but our da...

I had a great six-year anniversary weekend with my partner and our daughter. And while I'd love to tell you all about it, there's something more important I want to discuss today: should we relax our self-isolation or not? Despite the fact that COVID-19 is on track to kill more US citizens than died in all of WWI, and despite the fact that cases are spiking in several states after reopening , my state of Wisconsin seems to still be flattening the curve after being forcibly reopened–at least it appears that way for now. And with summer just around the corner, there's more and more pressure and desire to cautiously return to normal. Father's day, Independence Day, and various birthdays are just a few occasions coming up in my personal life that I'd love to spend with the family and friends I've been missing. The odds are, apparently, in favor for relaxing my family's self-isolation. So why am I still hesitant to get back into close physical contact with anyone...

My family had a pretty great weekend. My partner and I got a new free outdoor toy for our daughter, did a bit more work around the house, grilled some hamburgers infused with the delicious smoke from mesquite wood chips, watched a bunch of the new season of Queer Eye, and most fun of all is we went on an hour-long hike at which we got to watch our daughter excitedly walk on a beach into the beautiful water of Lake Michigan for the first time. Despite all the madness this year ranging from Australian fires and US protests to a global pandemic, I'm incredibly grateful that I'm able to enjoy and provide a fun and productive year for my daughter. While I'm still incredibly hesitant to leave my self-isolation given the continued threat of an invisible virus that could end with a painful and lonely death of myself or someone I love, I must admit that the temptation to lower my guard for some more quality time with said loved ones is much greater than before. Seeing or...

After venting my anger at the man who thinks it's okay to gas peaceful protesters and a priest out of her own church to take a photo  last week and watching protests intensify, devolve into riots ( possibly perpetrated by far-right instigators  and otherwise opportunistic white folks , like this guy with a bow and arrow ), and be escalated by absolutely unnecessary police brutality , I thought it'd be good to focus on the positive stuff today. Uplifting Protest News Firstly, in positive protest news, it's important to note that most of the protests are, in fact, peaceful, and the majority of police are trying their best to keep the peace. Of particular note are several instances of police walking with protesters such as in Flint and  in New Jersey  (showcasing a proper example of deescalation and how to serve and protect). Likewise, there are examples cropping up of  peaceful protesters turning rioters over to police  to prevent escalation by outsiders. Se...

It's not polite to say "I told you so" so I'll instead quote a movie called Fight Club and say "I am Jack's complete lack of surprise." I was really hoping that my first post after my vacation could just be about how fun and relaxing it was to be off-the-grid and with my family among the beauty of nature, but given that this is a COVID-19 blog I'd be remiss not to mention all the crap that's been going on lately. But for those of you just curious to see how I'm doing in my personal life, I'll start with that and label the COVID-19 news for you to skip or read afterward at your leisure. Getting Away Really Helps I'm pretty sure I covered this a few times before, but it's really healthy to take a break from the news and chaos going on around us once in a while. I was fortunate enough to do so over the course of a week with my in-laws at their cottage in the middle of nowhere of Michigan's upper peninsula. Being without internet ...

We had a pretty big weekend, by which I mean we had a pretty big Saturday and then it's been raining constantly ever since. On Saturday I made two trips to the dump for free mulch, my partner finished putting together our new flower garden (aside from a few touches we hope to add later). Then we planted vegetables in our newly expanded garden on the side of the house. Followed by similarly planting a few final vegetables and herbs in our repurposed garden beds in the back of the house. Somehow during all of this we also managed to have fun with our daughter, who herself managed to be productive by helping us do some digging. It was honestly one of the most fun days I've had in a while, which was definitely needed after all the crazy stuff going on right now. While Sunday wasn't quite as exciting, my partner did manage to paint another hallway of the house while I enjoyed some quality father-daughter time, which was great! Furt...

So after Texas loosened restrictions and allowed businesses to reopen in some capacity, they saw their biggest daily increase of positive cases of COVID-19 . Then, the Wisconsin Supreme Court struck down our governor's stay-at-home order and now people are flocking back out to public places without being mindful of wearing masks or keeping a safe distance from each other. I wonder what this could possibly lead to, and what the trend as a whole says about us as a nation. On the bright side, I know I talk about the weather a lot, but it looks like it's FINALLY  going to be warming up for good. In fact, the last frost of the year has finally passed, so my partner and I celebrated by planting some stuff in our new corner flower garden in the front of the house. And you can bet your butt that we're looking forward to more walks, hikes, and everything else outdoors. In fact, we also purchased a child carrier backpack for us to take our daughter with us on hikes, whi...

It feels poetic that shortly after my previous post reiterated how bad an idea it is to relax self-isolation efforts, my home state of Wisconsin reported experiencing two weeks of sustained decline of new COVID-19 cases and subsequently the relaxation of restrictions on some businesses . For the most part nothing is changing, but small retail stores may now reopen for in-person shopping of up to five customers at a time with social distancing practices. Of course, the fact that newly-reported cases are back down to below 200 per day for the first time since April 27th is a good thing and evidence that efforts to contain the spread of COVID-19 are working. I'm just personally not sold on the idea that loosening restrictions is the best response to this development. That said, the extent to which restrictions have been loosened is so incredibly small that I can't help but wonder if this is just our governor's way of trying to keep his political opponents and the folks protes...

Hope is a double-edged sword. It can help get us through difficult times, but it can also lure us into a false sense of security. Some states are reopening . Some organizations have already set dates for their employees to return to the office despite the effectiveness and safety of remote work. Meanwhile, the number of COVID-19 cases and deaths in the US continues to climb with the tally currently at 1,219,066 confirmed cases and 73,297 confirmed deaths. I'd like to remind you again that each of those over 70 thousand deaths was a human being with a job, friends, and a family who cared about them but was unable to be at their side when they passed on. This isn't something we've won. This isn't something to celebrate. People are dead and continuing to die of this disease. This is an ongoing tragedy. Of course I want to believe things are getting better. I want to believe that we've got this thing under control, but I want that to be true more than I want to believe...

My three-day weekend was full of dirt. Lots and lots of dirt. Free dirt, expensive dirt, and dirt from my own property. First on Saturday, I made three trips to the local dump to load up on free dirt to fill in the rest of our expanded garden beds. Then my partner and I went to the hardware store to pick up some nutrient-rich dirt to mix in with the free dirt, as well as pick up some other supplies like seeds, plants, and wood chunks for smoking meat. Personally, that was enough dirt and physical labor for a whole weekend, but then on Sunday I spent a big chunk of the day digging up the grass and dirt in a corner of our front yard that we want to transform into a flower garden. I then spent a part of my Monday off transplanting the sod I'd dug up onto a bare patch in our back yard. Unfortunately, none of this is actually listed on our Quarantine Projects list so I don't get the satisfaction of checking it off as complete. Oh well! I also went on the offense wit...

It's been a pretty cloudy and rainy week. Fortunately, however, there was just enough clear skies to enjoy the outdoors while the temperatures rose this week. Not that the rain is all bad in itself, since it definitely helped dissolve the last of my weed and feed application, breathed life into the vegetation much more quickly, and proved to us how smart it was to put our new shed up on wood planks rather than simply sitting in the dirt. There's been a slight spike in COVID-19 cases in my state . Probably because much of our state was forced to vote in-person for the primary election, and 52 people who did so have been confirmed to have the disease. Apparently there's no plans for anything different for the special congressional election in two weeks so I suppose we can expect another spike after that. I would put all the blame on the government but it seems like a growing number of people think the government should stop protecting its people and end the lo...

We had quite the busy weekend, such that it felt even more full than the three-day-weekend I took last week. The weather cooperated for the most part, which helped a lot. My partner and I, with the help of her father, were able to make some real progress on expanding our vegetable garden and even erect a brand new storage shed. Pictured: Our daughter, the foreman, inspects my father-in-law's progress on the shed. While I was in charge of watching our daughter, I was even able to take her out on a run using our running stroller for the first time! It was really rough on my arms and definitely more difficult without being able to actually use them to keep my momentum, but she kept shouting "WEEE!" during the run so I'd call that 100% worth it. Beyond that, there was a lot of playtime with our daughter, good food eaten, and many laughs had. There were several moments of the weekend where it was incredibly easy to forget that we're...

I've gotta say that the four-day work week feels just about perfectly balanced with the three-day weekend I just had. We should really consider switching to this kind of schedule as a society sometime. The weather still hasn't quite been cooperating, unless you count that I needed it to rain for my early spring weed & feed mix to be more effective. Of course fortunately my partner and I got a lot of our big springtime outdoor work done back when it was warm for a week and it's not like we can really go outside anyway. Aside from all the beautiful and adorable growth of our daughter, the biggest news of this week is that we (but mostly my partner) painted our big hallway in the color that will eventually cover the majority of our house. We really like how it turned out, which is good because we bought a five-gallon bucket of that paint so we're pretty committed at this point. Here's a before and after photo: As far as mental states during a...

I am fortunate enough that although I'm still very busy at work, my employer has been encouraging everyone to take some time off when possible. As such, I took yesterday off of work so that I could have a three-day weekend with my family, and I'm so glad that I did. Saturday was just about perfect. My partner and I awoke from a good night's sleep feeling well-rested and ready to enjoy the day, which promised a high of 57F and sunny weather. We made homemade biscuits and gravy with cheesy scrambled eggs for breakfast. We played with our daughter for a bit, did some house chores during her impressively long hour and a half nap, had ham sandwiches using some of my parents' delicious leftover Easter ham, went to the city drop-off site to dispose of our yard waste, and then I played with my daughter outside while my partner dug out a corner of our yard to turn into a rock garden. Also, earlier that day we had talked to my parents about the health precaut...

So it turns out there's not much to blog about when nothing new happens. Go figure. Complacency is definitely setting in. Working from home, my partner not working, and not seeing people is feeling normal now. It snowed for a bit yesterday afternoon, then the sun came out and melted it all, and then it snowed again and stayed snowy overnight. So that was weird. I haven't been out for a run since my 5K in large part because the weather has decided not to cooperate. I know it's only temporary but it's a real bummer to have these cold days come back after getting a glimpse of what a beautiful spring week could be. The warm weather went a long way toward things feeling kind of okay. However, in good news: we've got a new brick fire pit on our patio to replace the store-bought metal one that rusted away over the winter! It was a gift from my in-laws, constructed by my father-in-law who's always eager for a project. He also finished constructing the ...

Well here we are at our first holiday in quarantine: Easter. In previous years my partner and I would first have brunch at her parents' house and then dinner at my parents' house. In both cases we would fill up on delicious food while enjoying the company of our family, hopefully while also enjoying some pleasant spring weather. We knew things would be different this year since our daughter is a year old, but of course we didn't anticipate a worldwide pandemic and quarantine. Fortunately we're still able to go to my in-laws' house because they're part of our 5-person quarantine group, though it will be with a few fewer guests than usual and for dinner instead of brunch. Unfortunately, although neither of my parents are working right now and are therefore not exposed to strangers every day, they're still outside of our 5-person quarantine group. We won't be able to see them or my brother and grandma for Easter, and I won't be able to e...

This week has been going pretty well so far. My partner is killing it as a full-time mom and she even used her free day yesterday (our daughter is still going to be cared for by her grandparents on Wednesday mornings) to do some room painting, cleaning, organizing, and other productive stuff. I try to check in with how she's doing mentally pretty frequently and it sounds like she's enjoying the extra time with our daughter and the opportunity to get some things done around the house. Our daughter herself seems to be growing so much and living her best life every single day. It's a real treat to be able to leave my home office for a minute to see her whenever I want to, because her joy is infectious and she makes me so proud. As for me, I've definitely had some rough moments mentally this week. In particular, I had a tough morning on Monday just worrying about everything, and yesterday's blog post was tough to write because the gravity of the situation–even this ...

With 1,927 confirmed deaths yesterday alone, COVID-19 is now the #1 leading cause of death in the United States. For reference, heart disease is responsible for 1,774 deaths per day and cancer is responsible for 1,641. That number in itself is a tragedy, but the unfortunate fact is that it's growing every single day. In fact, the total number of confirmed  deaths by COVID-19 in the US alone is currently 12,675. It's hard to even imagine or begin to sympathize with a number, which is why I'm going to share this person's story that really affected me as well: "My friend's dad died of it. Relatively healthy guy in his late 50's. Mild symptoms, worse symptoms, tested, hospitalised, put in ICU, put into a coma, dead. All in the space of 7 days. It really shook me up and made me realise how serious it is. The guy is only 25 and still living with his parents, my heart breaks for him." - SerSonett This is not just the flu. This is not going away an...

As a follow up to yesterday's post, I did indeed run the Milwaukee Marathon Virtual 5K race yesterday and I wasn't totally alone–my partner and daughter came with me to go for a walk around the park and cheer me on! I'm proud to say that it went very well! I ended up not only running faster than I have been recently (which was my goal), but I also ran 5K in a personal record time of 25 minutes and 44 seconds! In all, because my measuring of the route was imperfect, I actually ended up running a total of 3.28 miles in 27 minutes and 10 seconds, which actually itself would have still been a personal record for a 5K run. Yeah, I'm still bummed that the full event was cancelled because of this COVID-19 pandemic, but I and my lovely, supportive family managed to make it a special event regardless. Stay healthy and sane! -Ryan